Public data do not show that Americans have simply given up on dating: people marry later, the share living without a spouse or partner fell between 2019 and 2023, and online daters report both positive and negative experiences. I connect those findings to the ReLove Library's questions about dating, fear and repair without presenting a complicated pattern as a settled crisis.
What does the data show about marriage and partnership?
The Census Bureau reported that the median age at first marriage reached 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women in 2025, up from 23.5 and 21.1 in 1975. Pew Research Center found that 25 percent of Americans who were 40 in 2021 had never married, compared with 6 percent in 1980.
Pew’s separate analysis of Census data found that 42 percent of adults were not living with a spouse or partner in 2023, down from 44 percent in 2019. That measure does not include every committed couple who lives apart, and the figures do not explain why people choose a particular relationship path.
What does Pew say about online dating?
Pew’s survey, conducted in 2022 and published in 2023, found that 53 percent of people who had used dating sites or apps described the experience as positive, while 46 percent described it as negative. The report also found that 48 percent of users had experienced at least one of four unwanted behaviors on a dating site or app.
The poll captures reported experiences, but it does not identify why people marry later or choose different relationship paths. The three ReLove books take up those questions from distinct angles.
How does the ReLove Library address those questions?
The collection includes The Dating Recession?, The Fear of Modern Dating and ReLove Relationships. The books move from public questions about dating culture to fear before a new connection and the choices couples face after they commit.
I spent about two years developing ReLove Relationships. The other two books grew out of that work. Read the full report on the ReLove Library and its research context.