I cannot predict whether a particular relationship can be repaired after people grow apart. In ReLove Relationships, I present Recover, Repair, Rekindle as an author-created framework for exploring that work. I organize the book around communication, accountability, forgiveness and boundaries. The research cited here provides context, but it does not test the framework or predict whether a couple will reconcile.
I spent about two years developing ReLove Relationships. The other two books grew out of that work: The Fear of Modern Dating and The Dating Recession?. I wanted the books to meet people at different points, from questions about dating culture to fear before a new connection and the decisions people face inside a relationship.
Why does modern dating feel difficult?
The public figures document changes in marriage timing and dating experiences; they do not identify one cause. The U.S. Census Bureau reported that the median age at first marriage in 2025 was 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women. In 1975, the medians were 23.5 for men and 21.1 for women. These figures describe people who marry for the first time, not the age at which everyone begins dating or forms a relationship.
Pew Research Center found that a quarter of Americans who were 40 in 2021 had never married, compared with 6 percent in 1980. A separate Pew analysis found that the share of U.S. adults not living with a spouse or partner fell from 44 percent in 2019 to 42 percent in 2023. That measure does not count committed couples who live apart. The figures show later marriage and a high share of never-married 40-year-olds alongside a lower share of adults living without a partner.
I kept the question mark in The Dating Recession? to leave the question open. The figures provide context, but they cannot establish that Americans have stopped wanting connection or identify one cause for why dating can feel difficult.
Are dating apps failing, or are people giving up?
Pew's U.S. survey was conducted in 2022 and published in 2023. It found that 30 percent of adults had ever used a dating site or app. About one in ten partnered adults said they met their current partner through an online dating platform. Among people who had used dating sites or apps, 53 percent described their experience as positive and 46 percent described it as negative.
The same survey found that 48 percent of online-dating users had experienced at least one of four unwanted behaviors included in the questionnaire. Taken together, the results show a mix of positive experiences and reports of unwanted behavior. They provide no basis for labeling online dating a success or a failure.
That balance shaped how I wrote about courtship in The Dating Recession?. The title addresses a public question. The data in this report show both a role for online dating in how some couples meet and a substantial share of users reporting unwanted experiences.
Why can fear begin before a new connection?
I wrote The Fear of Modern Dating for readers who want a relationship but carry concerns about rejection, dishonesty or heartbreak into the process. I treat those concerns as the subject of a book, not as a diagnosis or a population-level claim.
Questions about fear, ghosting and trust belong in the wider conversation about dating and repair. The figures cited here do not measure how common fear or ghosting is.
What is phubbing, and what does the research say?
Partner phubbing describes the experience of being ignored while a partner attends to a phone. A 2025 meta-analysis in Frontiers in Psychology combined 52 studies, 58 samples and 19,698 participants. It found an association between partner phubbing and lower relationship satisfaction. Most included studies were cross-sectional, so the result cannot establish that phone use caused a relationship problem. It also does not evaluate Recover, Repair, Rekindle.
I include divided attention and digital betrayal among the subjects in ReLove Relationships. The study gives me a measured question to raise about attention in a relationship. It cannot diagnose a couple or tell either person what to do, and it provides no evidence about the outcomes of my framework.
Can a relationship recover after emotional distance?
Recover, Repair, Rekindle is the framework I developed for ReLove Relationships. I organize the book around communication, accountability, forgiveness, boundaries, trust, jealousy, digital betrayal, divided attention, attraction and intimacy. The framework is my approach to the subject, drawn from my writing and experience.
The research reviewed for this report does not include an outcome study that tests the framework with other couples. I do not present it as clinical treatment or promise that it will restore a relationship. A couple's circumstances are personal, and the book is an educational resource.
How do repair and personal recovery fit together?
I have been with my partner for more than seventeen years. My experience with addiction and sobriety, betrayal and forgiveness, illness and financial strain shaped the questions I brought to this work. That is personal testimony, and it cannot establish what will work for another couple.
When should someone leave rather than attempt repair?
ReLove Relationships includes guidance on when leaving may be healthier. Anyone facing abuse, coercion or an immediate safety risk should prioritize safety and seek qualified support.
Where should a reader start?
I put the three titles together because the questions are connected, while a reader's starting point may differ. The Dating Recession? addresses the public conversation around dating. The Fear of Modern Dating focuses on fear before a new connection. ReLove Relationships is the guide to relationship repair and the Recover, Repair, Rekindle framework.
I hope readers find a thoughtful starting point in whichever question brought them here.
The three Amazon product pages are here: The Dating Recession?, The Fear of Modern Dating and ReLove Relationships.
For the wider evidence on marriage timing, family formation, dating-app use, social connection and digital attention, read my full report on the ReLove Library.